So the news was, and still is, that I’m pregnant with my first child. AND the first, and possibly only, grandchild for my side of the family.

In the time since my last post I’ve had a myriad of ideas on things to write about, but problem one is pregnancy brain and problem to is a complete lack of time.

Let’s start with pregnancy brain. It exists. I am, occasionally, truly dumber than I have ever been before in my life.

Examples: trying to open a soup BOWL with the can opener rather than the CAN of soup. Going to a midwife appointment a week early. Attempting to unlock doors with anything in my pocket except for keys.
No more need be said about this, I feel.

The other half is more of what I wanted to write about: there seems to be no time for anything any more! I have always viewed pregnancy as being a 9 month window where you just got progressively fatter, and to whatever degree more uncomfortable, but overall you lead your life the same as usual till baby arrived. Sadly, there’s more to it than that.
For one if I could stay away long enough to DO anything I just might, but when you’re asking your partner at 7PM what time it is in the hopes that he’ll say “bed time!” there’s little hope you’re going to get out too often after work.

Then there’s the “varying degrees of uncomfortableness” which seem to start at about month #2. So you’re not showing yet, and likely not telling anyone the news yet, but you already feel vaguely like crap. And that just continues forever. Morning sickness may wane, or not. The pre-natals will ensure you stay nice and nauseated though. Your body is dumping on weight so fast that your entire system is being thrown out of alignment: bones are put at weird angles, ligaments are loosened and stretched well beyond comfort, joints are screaming in pain at the pressure and, best of all, your organs are being shoved out of your throat. So it seems the varying degree stays basically between very and extremely uncomfortable for the whole 9 months pretty much.

Okay, so let’s say you’re awake one day after work, and are feeling almost human enough to do anything. Well that time is filled up with any array of baby related activities! (Oh no, not coffee with friends or a movie night with your partner.) You get to go to one of a million visits to your doctor or midwife, attend various medical tests and exams, do prenatal yoga/exercise, or perhaps a relaxing evening of childbirth classes!
And you really can’t skip a lot of this stuff because in the end your 9 months culminates in the birth of a baby which, if like me, you’d like to do with minimal medical intervention you very much want to be informed and prepared for.

What is this slightly ranting post meant to communicate to you beyond the fact that pregnancy sucks all of your time and energy from you for 9 months. Well not much more than that. I’m pregnant and it kind of absorbs your life for a bit, meaning that my posts for the next while will be about just that~ the hostile take-over of my body by and adorable succubus.

Sorry if it bores but that’s the way it is for now. Perhaps when a tape worm takes over your gut you’ll understand.